An Invitation Within

Very recently, I was in an atmosphere where I was able to take a look at my life through a brand new perspective. I've found that often when I take a moment to check where I'm at and where I can improve, it becomes a list of failures, expectations I didn't meet, ways I let myself down, etc. Because of this, it becomes a task that I don't want to do but think I should. And after taking this personal inventory, it often leaves me feeling overwhelmed, imperfect, or hopeless. This time was different though. It was completely opposite. I didn't initiate it, and I'm not really sure why or how it happened, but it was incredibly powerful. It left me feeling like I've never quite felt before, and I will try and explain it here. Although words cannot quite express it fully, this is the closest I can come to describing what it felt like and what I learned.

Clarity, depth and new growth also. But mostly this amazing feeling of being stripped down to the very essence of being. I felt like I could see my true self standing in pure light.  No fake identities, nothing hidden, nothing more, nothing less, no false pretenses. No wax. Sincere. Raw. No emotions other than joy. The joy that C.S. Lewis talks about, the longing evoked with intense beauty. Like a sunset, or a moving piece of music. An exquisite glimpse of something that you can't have, but the desire of it is almost as sweet as having it would be. Something that you can't really describe, but you know the feeling of. The strange part is that I didn't cringe at what I saw. Before, when I have viewed myself and my soul critically, I feel naked and flawed. Excessively imperfect and like I don't have the potential to become anything great. But this time I saw a view of myself that I've tried to see many times, but have never quite caught. A view of myself with infinite potential, along with an invitation grow and become stronger. To take light and build on it. To take that very raw potential and run with it. To take the beauty there, and make it even more beautiful. It doesn't have flaws, it's just pure soul. It's perfect, right where it needs to be, doing exactly what it's supposed to be doing. What I saw before I let expectations, mistakes, guilt, fear, pride, and opinions cloud and distort that view.  I think we rarely see this view of ourselves. We look in the wrong places, or choose not look at all because we fear what we'll see. I realize now that I've been trying to grow a relationship with myself by trying to become "perfect". Making a list of what I needed to do before I could love myself, instead of loving who I already am. But when I moved beyond and allow my eyes to be opened, I got a glimpse into eternity, and into the depths of myself. And from that roots all beauty, greatness, purity, and our perfection.

When you can see and embrace this view of who you are, and choose to rise above the people, media, music, even yourself, and anything else that says you don't have that potential, you free your soul. You can break loose from the ties that have bound you to the earth, take flight, and soar above the world like you've always wanted to do, breaking these bonds of dependency on opinions and affirmations of others. And then you can see the world from above, glide among the clouds, and sail through the sky with the wind at your back.